The Multiversal Memo

Multiversal Birthday Convergence

In a delightful quantum coincidence that would make even Schrödinger's cat do a double-take, December 5th marks the birth of three remarkable figures across our multiverse: Werner Heisenberg (1901), Walt Disney (1901)...
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RE: Proper Lightsaber Protocol in Non-Euclidean Office Spaces

Following recent incidents involving unauthorized lightsaber use near the quantum coffee machine, the Interdimensional Safety Squad is implementing...
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Essential Guidelines for Paradox-Free File Deletion

Following last week's incident where [REDACTED] attempted to permanently delete their embarrassing emails and accidentally created a digital black hole that consumed three departments and the entire back catalog of cat videos, IT has...
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RE: Updated Guidelines for Quantum Punch Dispensation and Consumption

Following the recent incidents at the Multiversal Office Party (see attached incident reports #QP-7249 through #QP-∞), and in light of Maxwell Planck III's ongoing experiments with quantum-entangled fruit juice...
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The Quantum Coffee Machine Incident

Following last week's unfortunate incident where the break room's quantum coffee machine created simultaneous versions of everyone's morning brew across seven parallel dimensions, we'd like to clarify the proper operating procedures...
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Updated Policy: Temporal PTO Requests

Effective immediately, all requests for Temporal Paid Time Off must be submitted both retrospectively and prospectively. Please ensure your past self has already approved the request before your future self submits it...
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Maintenance Notice: Interdimensional Printer Network

The interdimensional printer network will be undergoing routine maintenance this weekend. Please complete any cross-dimensional printing needs before Friday. Note: Documents may temporarily materialize in random dimensions...
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Why You Shouldn't Use Quantum Email for Time-Sensitive Messages

Following last week's incident where the quarterly earnings report arrived three weeks before the quarter began, we need to address the proper use of quantum email systems. While quantum email offers...
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